Putting joy first

As I lean more heavily into an art practice, there is one thing that will never be easy to deal with.

The terror of facing a blank page or a bare canvas.

And the best thing I can think to do in that situation is to just get in there and mess it up. Meaning…just get typing even if its total crap. Or just make some marks on the canvas, throw down some color, and get on with it.

Because if I don’t, I could sit there for hours, overthinking it. Getting nothing accomplished. No good work, no bad work…just no work at all.

I realize that it is a rare privilege to have the time in my life to pursue things like writing, painting, and textile art. But it would be so easy to turn it into a joy-sucking, soul-depleting process the way I did with my career. All I would have to do is to start taking myself too seriously.

Art with a capital “A” has a reputation for seriousness. As in, you have to be so serious and intense and the work has to have lofty meaning. A lot of artists internalize this, putting pressure on themselves for perfection and achievement. This type of pressure might make a blank page feel like an enormous task, an opportunity for failure if not done right.

Which is why, also in art, I believe there are so many eccentrics.

Eccentric artists push back at “norms” and question commonly held beliefs in order to be better artists. They know not to take themselves seriously. To create something out of nothing, they have to retain a childlike curiosity, a unique perspective, and a lightness. Eccentrics tap into their weirdo energy and just create; they are as unattached to the outcome as children to a messy pile of finger-painted construction paper.

If I were to make a guess about who’s more joyful, a traditionally minded art-with-a-capital-A-artist or an eccentric, my money is on the weirdo.

As I pondered the idea of joy, I came across a documentary about South African Archbishop Desmond Tutu’s visit to see the Dalai Lama in India. Watching them is a master class on what it is to live joyfully.

It is fascinating to see these two ancient spiritual leaders behave like absolute children around each other.  Once, Archbishop Tutu even said to the Dalai Lama (I’m paraphrasing here) “don’t forget you are a holy man” as if to say, “look at us being ridiculous, everyone thinks we are supposed to be serious.”

The theme of the documentary film and book about their meeting, is joy. Indeed, these Nobel peace prize laureates can’t seem to contain their joy when they are around each other. Throughout the time that they are interviewed, they often stop answering questions, bicker back and forth, and then laugh in turn. These men, in spite of the various hardships of their lives, have never let the seriousness of position or circumstance interfere with a personal cultivation of joy.

In an earlier post, I wrote about hedonic vs eudaimonic happiness. It turns out that eudaimonic happiness is joy…which is a relief from a pronunciation standpoint, to be sure. The great thing about joy is that we are capable of cultivating it within ourselves.

Doing so has huge, scientifically documented benefits. We become more resilient in the face of stress. We become physically healthier. There is even evidence to suggest we might be more creative, more productive and make more money just by being able to cultivate an internal state of joy.

You can cultivate joy, right now, for free, in the privacy of your own home. One method is to sit and focus on your heart and bring up the feeling of what joy would feel like. It may take some practice, but over time, you’ll find that you can call it up on demand. Other methods can elicit joy as well, such as a gratitude practice, and helping others.

Is joy really the feeling that we are all after in our pursuits? Do we think it will take achievement and money and status in order to feel joy? If I can, at any time, call up the feeling of joy, why would I need to look for it outside of myself?

Going back to the blank page, it would make sense then to create from a state of joy. For a while, I had it backwards, thinking, if I create something “good” then I will experience joy. This puts pressure on the creation, resulting only in frustration.

The reality is, if I cultivate a state of joy and then create from that space, there is a greater likelihood of creating something great.

The eccentric artists were on to something there.

So, from here on out, I’m bringing joy into all of my pursuits.

Before I sit down to write, I want to practice feeling joy.

Before I engage in my art practice, I want to practice feeling joy.

Before I make a new life decision, I want to practice feeling joy.

I want to remind myself that what I’m looking for is already there. I already have access to this feeling of joy. I don’t have to pursue it outside of myself. I get to create out of this feeling instead of chasing after it. I’m willing to bet that practicing this will also lead to feeling freer in my life.

As I was writing this post, I came across this YouTube clip. I was stunned to hear exactly the same message put in yet another way. And you can get it in the first 30 seconds of the clip if you don’t want to watch the whole thing.